I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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