Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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