I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
