My first STD was from a foam party
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Randomize
