My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I stole a fireplace last night.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
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