He kissed a someone with a penis
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
