SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he puts the penis in happiness.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
