sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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