She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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