if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
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And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
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I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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