I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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