i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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