Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
