i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I need a beard to bite.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
