You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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