is your mom at the bar?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
