You work out of a Hotel?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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