google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
