I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
