im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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