hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
