you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
