I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
