STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
