Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
