I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
