operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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