hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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