mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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