I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
