I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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