Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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