Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize