I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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