you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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