Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
