fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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