Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
