I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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