omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
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She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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