So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
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I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
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do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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