she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
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