how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
