Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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