Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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