Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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