I queefed so loud it echoed.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
