He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
