Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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