literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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