Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize