He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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