hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
