Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
