Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
