threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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