Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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