she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
