I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
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She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
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I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize