i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
